so, here I am. sitting beside my fiance having spent most of the evening looking at houses. not "where are the lads gonna live next year" houses. Real houses. with kitchen tables, garages and back gardens. it's weird.
we're going to be living somewhere in the greater belfast area. I'm going to be working in belfast (god willing), carla working in waringstown, so it makes sense for us to live somewhere between belfast and lisburn. we considered for a long time moving out to some nice village somewhere in the north down/south east antrim area, ballinderry, ballygowan, moira, drumbo etc. but then i was struck by the thought that, well, we don't actually know ANYONE who lives in any of these places. like no-one. which all of a sudden was quite concerning. what would it be like? how would we settle? would we settle at all in completely unfamiliar surroundings? so we decided in the end to search for houses on the fringes of the city. castlereagh, dunmurray, finaghy etc. we haven't so much as contacted a single estate agent yet, but i guess it's progress.
i guess tonight's been a bit of a realisation for me. it seems almost like i'm growing up in a way. not long from now, my home will not be in lecumpher, but i will officially have left the building and i'll make, with my wife to be, a new home. cos i still feel that tie to home. home is back in lecumpher, with my mum, dad and sister, and soon, it won't be that any more. it's weird.
not in a bad way. it's just weird. unusual, different, discomforting, new territory.
but of course, with new territory and newness in general comes new challenges, new hope and a chance to shape a bright future. a future with carla, in a new house far far from lecumpher, not going home at the weekends with my washing, not going home to sort out da's latest computer quandra, nor to listen to any of deb's trauma stories from a hard week in A&E. that's gonna be weird, but man the flip side is o so exciting.
it's the moment when my life is really my own, and i choose how i live. a fresh start and turning over a new leaf, a chance to bury the past, and create my future. where it goes only god knows, and i like to keep it that way, but it's with carla. it's our future. i don't know where that goes, but i know it's shared.
so that's my thoughts on this night of house hunting and bridal mag flicking. exciting times lie ahead. exciting, but weird.
d
Tuesday, 29 January 2008
Tuesday, 22 January 2008
so marriage and stuff...
yea, this is just gonna be a wee spot where i can post the happenings and my thoughts as i plan to get married this october. i find blogging allows me to collect and formulate my thoughts constructively, organized ramblings, though you may question their organized-ness!
so i guess i ought to give a bit of background on the wedding plans. got engaged on christmas day past, we're planning our wedding for october. it's been a bit of a hectic ride since then. starting to plan and organize a wedding, revise for exams, look for employment, and then try enjoying the end of my christmas and new year break. it really did take it's toll there for a while. gladly i now feel that the most stress is over. my only remotely sleep-affected night coming before a job interview, so blame that, not the wedding plans i think.
presents. engagement present are great. i'm not sure what they are, but they're great. to me they look exactly like wedding presents, just early. i really am grateful for them all, but it was all so unexpected. maybe it's just because none of my close friends are engaged yet, and i'm a bit new to the whole thing, but i didn't really understand the implications of proposing. the first big decision after getting engaged isn't a date, a hotel, or choosing the best man, it's picking your denby. what? yes, denby. as far as i can tell denby are an english crockery outfit, who seem to have a complete monopoly on the whole engagement present market. good for them. so we set about "picking our denby". after much thought and consideration we chose one, only for it to be like the rarest selection ever and only about 2 shops in the country selling ours (truffle layers if your interested).
it's an odd sensation choosing something that others will be buying for you, it makes me feel some way dirty. i mean i know people just wanna buy us gifts, but i really do feel bad about it. i mean it's like £12.50 for a plate, just the one, and i guess that's why u "collect" it, so you don't have to buy a whole set, which would run into several hundred pounds. but people ask, so we choose, so they buy and we use, i guess i just feel uncomfortable with the me-ness of it all. and i'm not a particularly selfless person.
so anyway that was the denby done. next came a hotel search, with a view to getting a date for "the big day". looking into weddings has opened my eyes to the shocking overspending that's done for one day. i guess it's all about priorities. for me i just feel that it'd be wasteful to spend extravagantly on a day that is special for me, carla, and our families. everyone else will have forgotten all about it within a week. or sooner. so we prioritise. what matters to us the most, and what doesn't matter quite so much. for us, venue wasn't top priority. who leaves a wedding saying how wonderful the function room was? this, instead of making the decision easy, made it all the more difficult. "so which one do u prefer?", "i don't mind, which one did u like best, love?" "they were both nice..." and so the conversations went on. i refer to my other blog, entitled exams, it was just a choice. not necessarily a "God choice", just a plain old choice. we didn't lock ourselves away for hours petitioning god to show us where to have our reception, we just weighed up the options and plumped for one. the tullylagan in cookstown as it turns out.
so this means we have our date - october 10th 2008. that's the day we're going to get married. i prefer this to this being our "wedding day". for us this isn't about the day. this is all about our future together, to go into god's plan as carla's husband, not just as a single entity anymore. the day itself is just the gateway to a shared life. we'll bow humbly before the king on that day, and pray that he will bless our future together, we will have a party, a great party, one like jesus would have enjoyed. he loved a great party. he provided more alcohol for a wedding party when they had run out! (alarming, i know!) he mixed it up with all types when matthew held a party for his friends. but the day is not what it's all about, the future is where it's at.
an exciting few months lie in store.
d
so i guess i ought to give a bit of background on the wedding plans. got engaged on christmas day past, we're planning our wedding for october. it's been a bit of a hectic ride since then. starting to plan and organize a wedding, revise for exams, look for employment, and then try enjoying the end of my christmas and new year break. it really did take it's toll there for a while. gladly i now feel that the most stress is over. my only remotely sleep-affected night coming before a job interview, so blame that, not the wedding plans i think.
presents. engagement present are great. i'm not sure what they are, but they're great. to me they look exactly like wedding presents, just early. i really am grateful for them all, but it was all so unexpected. maybe it's just because none of my close friends are engaged yet, and i'm a bit new to the whole thing, but i didn't really understand the implications of proposing. the first big decision after getting engaged isn't a date, a hotel, or choosing the best man, it's picking your denby. what? yes, denby. as far as i can tell denby are an english crockery outfit, who seem to have a complete monopoly on the whole engagement present market. good for them. so we set about "picking our denby". after much thought and consideration we chose one, only for it to be like the rarest selection ever and only about 2 shops in the country selling ours (truffle layers if your interested).
it's an odd sensation choosing something that others will be buying for you, it makes me feel some way dirty. i mean i know people just wanna buy us gifts, but i really do feel bad about it. i mean it's like £12.50 for a plate, just the one, and i guess that's why u "collect" it, so you don't have to buy a whole set, which would run into several hundred pounds. but people ask, so we choose, so they buy and we use, i guess i just feel uncomfortable with the me-ness of it all. and i'm not a particularly selfless person.
so anyway that was the denby done. next came a hotel search, with a view to getting a date for "the big day". looking into weddings has opened my eyes to the shocking overspending that's done for one day. i guess it's all about priorities. for me i just feel that it'd be wasteful to spend extravagantly on a day that is special for me, carla, and our families. everyone else will have forgotten all about it within a week. or sooner. so we prioritise. what matters to us the most, and what doesn't matter quite so much. for us, venue wasn't top priority. who leaves a wedding saying how wonderful the function room was? this, instead of making the decision easy, made it all the more difficult. "so which one do u prefer?", "i don't mind, which one did u like best, love?" "they were both nice..." and so the conversations went on. i refer to my other blog, entitled exams, it was just a choice. not necessarily a "God choice", just a plain old choice. we didn't lock ourselves away for hours petitioning god to show us where to have our reception, we just weighed up the options and plumped for one. the tullylagan in cookstown as it turns out.
so this means we have our date - october 10th 2008. that's the day we're going to get married. i prefer this to this being our "wedding day". for us this isn't about the day. this is all about our future together, to go into god's plan as carla's husband, not just as a single entity anymore. the day itself is just the gateway to a shared life. we'll bow humbly before the king on that day, and pray that he will bless our future together, we will have a party, a great party, one like jesus would have enjoyed. he loved a great party. he provided more alcohol for a wedding party when they had run out! (alarming, i know!) he mixed it up with all types when matthew held a party for his friends. but the day is not what it's all about, the future is where it's at.
an exciting few months lie in store.
d
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